Female and Frustrated
by Sniper Zero
Summary: Cagalli's confused and frustrated that nothing ever goes right with her sex life with Athrun. Pissed at the fact that they're both still virgins, she goes to have therapy from her brother, Kira but will that really solve her problem? Oneshot.


Cagalli sat, facing her brother who looked at her with appraising eyes. She really didn't know what she and Athrun were doing wrong. They didn't have a problem in their relationship. Everyone knew that. They were the perfect couple…well almost perfect. After all she wouldn't be seeing her therapist of a brother if she didn't have a problem with Athrun.

"So let me get this straight…" Kira spoke, breaking the blonde's thoughts. "You're having trouble with your sex life with Athrun?" Cagalli blushed but nodded nonetheless. She wasn't really sure if she could openly tell her brother her sexual dilemmas but she supposed it was better than talking about it with a total stranger. Besides, she thought, she didn't have to pay him for the therapy.

"Um…yeah. It's just that whatever we do, we just can't seem to do it right." Cagalli told Kira meekly. The brunette looked at his clipboard before looking back at his sister.

"And why is that?" Kira questioned, an eyebrow raised. "Has Athrun not been hitting bull's-eye lately?" Another blush plastered itself on Cagalli's cheeks at her brother's choice of words. She gazed at him for a moment and wondered how he could be so calm about the matter. It didn't take long for her to realize that his profession had him talking about sex day-in and day-out to his patients.

'Pervert brother.' Cagalli thought. The tapping of Kira's pen on his clipboard made her realize he was waiting for her reply.

"N-no, it's not that he hasn't been hitting bull's-eye."

"Then is it his size that's bothering you?" Kira questioned quickly. Cagalli seemed to blush harder as she struggled to answer the question.

"He's...big. Size isn't the problem." At this, Kira glanced at Cagalli curiously, no longer able to supply a deductive reasoning for her problem.

"From what you told me earlier, it's neither his performance nor his size that's bothering you. If that's the case then what is?" Kira asked as he crossed his legs and began to study his sister's wary movements.

"It's…uh…the fact that we haven't done it yet…that's the problem." Kira seemed to be lost in thought for a while before he raised another question for Cagalli.

"Hmm…then you're afraid of doing it with him? Is Athrun pressuring you to have sex with him?" Kira didn't even bother hiding his anger at his last question.

"N-no, that's not it!" Cagalli quickly denied and she felt a rush of relief when Kira calmed down. She still felt a little wary though for her brother still eyed her suspiciously.

"So he's not pressuring you…anyway, so you haven't done it yet?" Kira asked, seeking confirmation in Cagalli's eyes. The blonde nodded and Kira went on. "It's kinda hard to point out what the problem is, Cagalli. I mean you're both willing to have sex. Maybe you should elaborate." Kira suggested finally.

"H-huh?" Cagalli asked dumbly.

"I'm sure one of you at least attempted to make advances right? I'd like you to tell me about them."

"N-no way, you voyeur!" Cagalli all but protested.

"But I can't help you if I don't know the details." When Cagalli didn't show any signs of cooperating, Kira sighed. "Look Cagalli, whatever you say to me stays with me. I respect the confidentiality of personal matters. No one will know." Cagalli looked at her brother with unsure eyes.

"You're not going to tell anyone? Not even Lacus?" Cagalli asked, her words dripping with hesitation. She knew Lacus had ways of making her husband spill secrets, not that Cagalli didn't trust Lacus to respect her privacy or anything. She just wouldn't know what to do if word about her little problem got out.

"I'll take what you say to me to the grave." Kira assured, chuckling lightly at his troubled sister.

"Promise?"

"Cross my heart." Kira said raising his right hand to complete the promise.

"A-alright then…here goes…our first problem started when…"

"_Mmm…Cagalli…" Athrun said as he released the blonde's name in a husky moan. They were on the bed, he on top of her. He was drunk with her scent and his nervous hands quivered as they moved to unfasten her bra._

"_Wait." Cagalli said blocking his hands from her bra._

"_What?"_

"_Take off my pants first." Cagalli whispered in Athrun's ear, earning her a mischievous smirk from Athrun. "I want you to start down there first."_

"_With pleasure." Athrun kissed Cagalli hungrily before moving down to remove her pants. He was quite excited to see her panties. With swift movements, he took off her pants. Athrun's emerald eyes widened at what greeted him._

_Staring back at him, was Cagalli's pink Hello Kitty print panties. He blinked once before his laughter filled the room. Cagalli blushed heavily from embarrassment, covering her face under the pillows. Athrun only continued laughing that night, his previous excitement replaced by humor._

"Is that all?" Kira tried to ask as emotionlessly as he could but for a fleeting moment, Cagalli swore the thin lines of her brother's lips curved slightly upwards. She brushed it off as just her imagination.

"N-no…there's more."

"Carry on then." Kira said with an underlying tone of excitement though he was careful enough not to let Cagalli notice it.

"Then there was that one time…"

"_Athrun…" Cagalli purred out his name all too seductively. The said boy only replied with a fierce kiss. They soon parted for air but not without the blonde taking off Athrun's shirt first. "Give me a treat."_

"_A treat huh?" Athrun asked, his voice husky with uncontained desire. "Then why don't you suck on my lollipop?" Cagalli's eyes glowed with excitement at the thought. She could see Athrun's erection protruding already. She watched with anticipation as he began to unzip his pants but only…he can't._

"_W-what the? Cagalli I think the lollipop got stuck."_

"_What!? No way!"_

Kira coughed loudly after Cagalli told the story. The blonde glared at him but the brunette just ignored it. "So it got caught in his zip. I don't hear that everyday." He said trying to stifle an upcoming laugh.

"Laugh and I'll kill you." Cagalli warned.

"Okay I'll be good."

"You better." Then Cagalli proceeded to tell Kira another of her incidents. "Okay so there was this time I tried to seduce him with a kiss only…"

"_Athrun…would you trade your kiss for a night in bed with me?" Cagalli asked with the false innocence only a seductress could have._

"_Definitely." Athrun then kissed Cagalli. Their mouths parted and Athrun didn't waste any time in entering her mouth. His tongue gleefully explored Cagalli's mouth as did hers. After what seemed like an eternity, their lips parted a trail of saliva connecting their lips._

"_Was that good, lover boy?" Cagalli asked._

"_The best one yet but did I just taste peanuts on your lips?" Athrun asked suddenly worried._

"_Well…I did have PB&J sandwich earlier. Why? Is that bad?"_

"_I don't think I've told you this yet but did you know I'm VERY allergic to peanuts?" Cagalli gulped, afraid of the consequences that were about to come._

"_Oh god I am SO sorry. What happens when you eat peanuts?"_

"_Well, I…" Athrun didn't get a chance to finish what he was saying for he fainted right on the spot._

"So that's why he was at the hospital for three weeks…" Kira thought aloud as Cagalli just covered her face in embarrassment. Turning his attention to Cagalli, he asked unsurely "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"Well…There was a time when we tried to have sex while he was drunk but…"

"_Um…are you sure you want to do this while you're drunk Athrun?" Cagalli asked as she sat in bed naked._

"_Watcha talkin' about foo? Ya sayin ya dun want ma eel in your cave?" Cagalli sighed inwardly. Athrun clearly couldn't hold his liquor. She did find it funny how he talked in a gangster accent when he's drunk though._

"_Err…no it's not that I don't want you inside me…it's just…that." Cagalli pointed to Athrun's dick which frankly wasn't even close to being erect. It was limp and lifeless, obviously in no condition to do some heavy fucking._

"Figures he got whiskey dick." Kira said not really surprised at the least. "Most guys get those after drinking too much."

"I see." Cagalli said making sure to remember that piece of advice.

"I'm surprised you managed to endure your sex life, Cagalli. Most of my patients would have gone crazy had they been in your shoes." Kira stated with genuine amazement.

"There are times when it gets annoying though. Like that time when we were so close to doing it…that bastard just had to…"

"_Oh that's it! It's so good! Suck harder Ashley!" Athrun screamed out. _

"_What did you just say!?" Cagalli asked furiously as she stopped giving Athrun oral treatment. She couldn't believe the bastard was cheating on her! And more importantly who the fuck was Ashley!? _

"_Uh…Cagalli wait it's not what you think. I can explain." _

"_Save it. Just go to your Ashley or whatever. I'm leaving." And with that Cagalli left Athrun's room. Athrun tried to chase her but he fumbled to put his pants back on and the last thing he saw was her car taking off._

"So that bastard cheated on you? And you're still with him why?" Kira asked angrily. He clenched his clipboard tightly, so tight that it looked like it was about to break. Oh was Athrun in for it tonight he thought. He was going to skin him alive, make him unable to ever have children, make him regret ever being -

"Hold on Kira. Athrun wasn't cheating on me." Kira turned to Cagalli, confused.

"He wasn't?"

"Yeah it turns out we were watching High School Musical that time and he just said Ashley Tisdale's name by mistake."

"Really? I never knew he was so stupid." Kira said annoyed at Athrun.

"Yeah it was. I can't believe I cried that night just for that. Well those are all the advances I could remember, Kira. What do you think the problem is?"

"Oh that's simple. Your problem is you're both idiots when it comes to sex." Kira said causing Cagalli to glare daggers at him. "So I'm going to give you this." Kira then stood up and took something out from his drawer then tossed it to Cagalli. The blonde examined it. It was a CD but she couldn't help but feel suspicious about it.

"What is it?" Cagalli asked.

"That's a CD containing videos of me and Lacus having sex." Kira stated and Cagalli choked.

"Then I don't want it! Keep it!" Cagalli tried handing the CD back to Kira but he refused to take it back.

"Just watch it. It'll stop you from making anymore screw ups. You do want that don't you? To be finally able to do it with Athrun?"

"F-fine! We'll watch it tonight!" Cagalli reluctantly agreed as she put the CD in her pocket and went towards the door. Before she could open it however, Kira stopped her.

"Cagalli if videos of me and Lacus spread over the internet…I'll have you sued." Kira warned.

"Don't worry. I'm not like that."

"Good." And Cagalli left.

* * *

**The next day**

Kira was at work as usual when…

"Kira you bastard!"

"Oh hey, Cagalli. I take it everything went well last night."

"No you fucker!"

"No? Why? That shouldn't have happened."

"Why you ask!? Your stupid CD didn't have you and Lacus in it! Instead, it had two OLD people banging each other! The granny's skin was bouncing more than her boob! Athrun was so traumatized by it he said he never wanted to have sex ever again!! You ruined my sex life, Kira!! Now I'm going to make you pay!"

"Uh wait Cagalli. We can talk this out. What are you going to do with that hammer? Put that down before you – Holy shit!! Help!!"

* * *

A/N: It's a bit rushed I know but I hope it wasn't too bad. I haven't been writing for a long time so I'm having a lot more trouble with it than before.


End file.
